Idaho Hot Springs

 Here's JUST the posts of the month of June. Today is Thursday, the 1st, 4:30am (Currently its June 3, Saturday at 6:08am) but I won't be finishing this one for a few days, I just wanted to get it started. I  know I've put up a lot and I don't expect you'll read it all, but if you're reading this one and haven't read the one preceding it then you should do so. 

I saved the best for last. If I had ten bucks for every time we drove to idaho on a friday to spend saturday soaking in a hot spring only to drive back sunday, I'd be able to loan you a couple hundred bucks and still have money for sushi. I was fascinated with Idaho when I was in college in the early 90s and stayed that was until a few years into this century (all the way back to 1992). Earlier on it was with Bull Run Falls, and Idaho Star Garnets (Which are like star sapphires, which you are probably familiar with, only garnets. Which actually are just like rutilated quartz except the addition of the metal ions which cause the coloration in the corundum and garnets cause the rutile to form stars rather than lay randomly like they do suspended in quartz). But I'll save the intro story for the garnet post, which is maybe next anyway. The one after the one following the next one after this, it's actually the one after that's' successor that is the one before the rock one, because this one is truncated, or bluntly, barely got off the ground.

Right when I got into Hot Springs, which was damn near the year I met Seidel, 1997, although it was probably 1998 when the obsession started, we got a book by Evie Litton called Hiking the Hotsprings of the Northwest. We went through two copies of that book, visiting almost every free one. Anyway, right away it was obvious that Idaho was the place with the most hot springs and easiest to get to. Probably the most fun was the trip from Boise to Sun Valley, Idaho and Challis, Idaho, along the Boise River because there's about a dozen just along that stretch. We did that one summer and had a blast. Molly's tubs, and just a whole slew of them are along there, most very easy to get to, either that or they are on the other side of the river and require a rafting trip, something that I wanted to do for a very long time but just never got around to it. I'll skip that whole area for the most part because we only went through there once and there was so many I just can't recall them all. I think Vulcan was in there, which is noteworthy because its basically a fucking river and you have to go a quarter mile downstream before the boiling water cools off enough that you can soak. The picture shows a german couple we met there on our second trip and they were pretty cool to talk to. Campground hot springs is off that one and its a ranger cabin you can rent with three hot springs. One right there next to the camping spots and ranger cabin (we chose the cheaper camp spots instead of the cabin) and then Moondipper and Pineburl are down about 2 miles upstream. (TO BE CONTINUED)

A Long winded Briefly not so much:

Music, I love. Hahaha, I just noticed that if you take from Jackyl to Anouk, just the song titles, it almost unintentionally tells a story: She loves my cock, Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough, the girls of porn, rough sex, crazy love, touch my cum, blunderbuss, jar of hearts, straight to hell and ending with Ms Crazy! Hey I said almost, quit being so nit-picky. It's worthy of an semi chuckle and an eye roll. If we go up a few lines and add in "I'm shakin" & "disconnect" & "pussy whipped" then you've really got something :P 

No really though, starting with I Turned into a Martian, and I didn't used to like The MIsfits as much as Glenn's solo work, but the more that I listened to the MIsfits, the more I realized it's got more value than Danzig's solo work, except for the Black Aria album that came out in 1994, I really loved that one. But maybe that's because it was at the height of my LSD dropping days. It was my buddy's band,Psycho '78 that really taught me how to appreciate The Misfits because they started out as a MIsfits cover band until they progressed into their own style. It was really driven by Mikey Waco's lyrics but Davo's drumming was a nice touch although Davo was really more enthusiasm that ability. He was my roommate and my priest at my wedding, I loved that guy. A couple of my favorite songs ever are by those guys, Tacoman about being from Tacoma and One Last toke, with Mierda as a runner up. Davo's roommate after he moved out of our house, Justin Mernoone, he had a band called Sore Loser that was arguably better but it was less promoted and shorter lived. He had a song Green Machine (remember those?) that just  is phenomenal. "Get the fuck off my Green Machine' he yells. I did their website but not their album promo, on Psycho '78 I did all of it from Photo-g to album cover to promo & submitting to CD Baby, iTunes, etc. Before I pass this post to you, I'll figure out how to upload those songs ( i tried to link them in the above songs, "Tacoman" and "Green Machine", i don't think it'll work - but I';ve ot some of their music i put up (here for Davo) and (here for Justin).)  and hotlink or place them on this page. It's something I know how to do in HTML but nothing that can be easily done here. It may be that I have to upload them to the subdomain and use some standard html code to embed them or maybe upload them to soundcloud, I'm not sure, Maybe I can make them not public on youtube, like  said the solution will require some research and head scratching which is something I kinda need right now as an outlet. Lastly, about the MIsfits, their guitarist, Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, has a a solo album, "Abominator" that truly kicks ass. Now, without doing further research I thought that Doyle originally sang on the first album as it was originally released but Wikipedia says the Cancerslug front man sang on the release. I thought that they re-recorded it or re-made the vocal tracks when they switched labels or something, I know that what you hear on iTunes these days is vastly different sound than what I have on mp3. It's way better my way.

Now we have Thank You by Chris Cornell. Most likely my favorite Zeppelin song, and after Little Joe my favorite Cornell song. I've been singing this song since I was 11. My mom's favorite Zeppelin song was The Lemon Song. She's the one that showed me Led Zeppelin in general but specifically Led Zeppelin 2, their first album of original songs. From what I recall, most, if not all of the first album was blues covers. "Thank you" is just the perfect Love song. At least that's how I read it. I even played it at my wedding. I think it was the opening song. You know, because we had a playlist. But you really get to hear Chris' voice in this rendition. It's probably the last song he recorded where you hear his truly amazing voice, that one that shined on Temple of the Dog. "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea there will still be you and me. Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more (...) And so today my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles" I could fill in the blanks but it's those 6 lines that make me melt. I'm a serious sweetie romantic at heart. Coincidentally, another band does a song that's kinda and not kinda a love song but I always read it as a long song, that song is N.I.B. by Black Sabbath. The lyrics "Some people say my love cannot be true, Please believe me, my love, and I'll show you. I will give you those things you thought unreal, The sun, the moon, the stars, all bear my seal. Follow me now and you will not regret, Leaving the life you led before we met. You are the first to have this love of mine. Forever with me till the end of time." They really say it all. IIRC the song's about the love of lucifer, he's the one talking. But really that's one of the cool things about music. With good music you can read many things into it, i just chose those lyrics.I used to write those lyrics on my peechees in school. I never did pay attention in school. The chick in the number 1 spot, right above me, was always pissed because she had to work really hard to get As and I just skated by, taking LSD during school, cutting class, and I got #2 in the school. I skipped so much school my senior year though I dropped out of the top ten percent. I still graduated right in the top ten people though. In a small school, i mean, ten percent is the top 6, the top ten people is different. BUt I lost all that ground my senior year. I mean I was done with all my classes cuz I was essentially a year ahead, I was taking math, calculus, at college already, i got a bye on one class cuz I had to drive from Toledo to Centralia every day, paying my own tuition and gas to do so, because of that I made them kiss my ass that they were lucky to have me. I still led the school to National Science team 13th in the nation, not bad for a small town with no money or AP classes, and science team state #1, knowledge bowl, math team and, let's see, I got the most votes for some Natural Helper's thing but could not participate cuz I had to work instead of be at the camping workshop thing, I started my own club teaching about HIV and handing out condoms to everyone. oh i forget, i was a teacher's aid in two classes, took a made up spanish class cuz they didn't have anything past year 2, two of my classes were annual staff, I was student body VP, i don't recall doing one thing at all or even attending one meeting, I was honor society VP, at one point i even had 3 jobs, all at the same time. school was lame. I was at the top of the world. So much fun.

Lastly, the two pics I included. The building one I thought was pretty awesome but nah, didn't receive good marks. I thought the the other one was like  carnival of horrors. Fuck'm for not liking creative shit. Anything that's got a hint of evil or horror never does well, i always hit like when i see someone else trying. Gotta stick up for our own kind, ya know.

Post Script:

Well, today was  the first time that you got under my skin. I didn't even realize it at the time. And I don't think I was angry. I hadn't taken the time to put myself in your shoes and your elephant caused me to do so, and when I did  i was rapidly overtaken by emotion and I reacted. I know I was a bawling mess when I typed out the reply. You didn't say anything that was untrue. You expressed your feelings, and for that I want to thank you, and I want to apologize for my response and for failing to take in your point of view before I blurted out my ideas and admissions.

I want to re-present the situation from the beginning.

My original thought, the one chronologically first, was that I could help you by giving you the rv. Or some sort of long term lease to own, maybe $50 a month. I penned that in one of the 404s. 1) I'm not  using the rv and quite likely I won't, and 2) my sister said it was mine and she won't comment back to me so I'm left with my own judgement, and using that, I gave you the option of using the RV somehow.

One night, lying in bed I was toying around and having long conversations with myself about how that RV gift would work. Brainstorming and bouncing the ideas at various personalities that i keep around for such tasks. I thought that the rv could help you get out of the situation that you are in and wanted to express to you that it should be used to help you get unstuck. So, i'm having these conversations and the notion gets brought to my attention  that I could help you in another way. I remember sitting straight up i  bed. I've got other things I can't use that I should offer you as well. A true facepalm moment. 

The next morning, I felt encouraged and brave. So I decided that I should broach the subject of my inner thoughts and feelings that I had just recently noticed. Those back of my mind thoughts about my growing fondness. I wanted to put them out in the open before I became the last person in the room to notice that I was flirting and so I did that exploration and admission. I shared some personal thoughts, despite them not being quite ripe, but I did so anyway.

Encouraged by those feelings that i just shared,  i decided I should tell you about my most recent epiphany. I'm still in denial that they are related in any other way than chronologically. So, in that same post where I admitted my feelings, i had continued my not shy streak and shared with you my idea on how I could help give you some income in addition to having a possible solution for your home situation. The big elephant in that room, however, was the caveat being that it would only work if you were my widow. 

Now, with none  of these admissions/ideas was i  being direct (and in fact I have had to rewrite this diatribe a couple times to make it more direct) because of my lack of confidence and lack of faith in my ability to correctly present the ideas in a way that wouldn't cause you to go run away screaming. So I laid the survivor benefits idea out there, trying to be very unemotional, because I didn't think they were related and I didn't think them being together was a good idea.  I must re-emphasize, they are all true, as is my desire to somehow give/loan/rent you the RV. Then you spoke with me the next day in a tone that gave me the impression that I had at least accomplished my underlying goal of not making a fool out of myself and being able to present the separate train of thoughts as individual topics that could be each held on their own not needing the others. That we could go forward with either, any, or all of them or none of them. I still feel this way.

But then when you mentioned the elephant in the room on messenger, I realized that I hadn't put myself in your shoes. And that upset me, and I reacted. I hadn't expected the explosion of emotion that came as a result of seeing the situation from your point of view. I was humbled and still am. I need to emphasize that there aren't hidden strings involved. And furthermore, had I not been venturing down this road of open and transparent honesty, while exploring my thoughts and memories with you, i wouldn't have found myself where I am now. 

Where am I now? In a predicament of sorts. We have two elephants in the room along with two ideas. The elephants, I think, need to be set aside so that the focus can be on the ideas. I want the ideas to remain separate from the elephants, but probably not forever to be in the dark, but to set them aside temporarily so that we are able to tackle the topics according to their utilitarian purposes they serve. Even though I feel that I shouldn't have presented them in the order that they appeared and especially as rapidly as they came out, they're out there. I can't retract them or change their order or timing. What's done is done. I want to shift the focus, if even just temporarily instead on the two ideas themselves. Afterwards we can explore if the elephants can and or should be pursued. I've been handed two gifts that I'm wishing to talk about and that I'm able to and wanting to share. We can't change the elephants, let's use that assumption for the time being, so that we are able to set them aside.

I hope all that makes sense. We have the rv and the income as ideas. On the RV, we need to first get you to see it so that you can make a definitive decision on whether or not you want it so that we can work out the details of when, under what circumstances, how, hurdles, etc. Then, separately, we have the income. That can wait a while until you've had time to digest it. After dealing with that second topic, the income, then  I think is when we'll revisit the elephants and see how large they actually are and the pros and cons of them and their interactions with the decisions came to about the ideas.

I'll leave all that rest right here. I'll reread it and make sure it follows logical sense and order nad share it when that's done. Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing yourself with me. and Thank you again in putting up with my blundering through all this.. I only have my best intentions in mind. I don't mean to make your life more difficult, but the end goal is to help and relieve some stress by being able to give you a help towards your independence and ease on the burden of making ends meet.