Total Amazement

I have been on a kick. I think I finally found another gear.

• I actually did it. The whole month of August was about you. So far, up until now, the whole month of September has been about me. I can't believe i birthed that last one.

• I was wondering a couple weeks ago if I should put the nail in the coffin of what is the remake of your Cleaning Mindfully site. I was inches away and totally frustrated. I forget why now. It's not like it's almost done or anything, but its closer than it ever has been. It's all about styles now, adapting them for firefox and safari, which is basically removing all the extra fluff and animation, not all but a lot of the extra flash that i think im taking out now, plus a lot of the extra .div containers that I used to think were the necessary evils of modern web design. They are but they aren't. they aren't the panacea. I was over using them which was making things overly complicated. Now that I know what i'm doing a little more, I'm not using them as much and I'm able to keep things consistently styles without them. Instead of having many various ones i can have classes and groups which i can target and get the same if not better results.

• I'm bummed. I made the website offer to your sister and she, to-wit, has just left it lie. I offered to pay, create, design, and maintain and she all but blew me off. ¿Is everyone too scared to say I suck? She was slightly interested in the offer I made for her to trade RV's if she wanted to use mine for a while. I'm going to have to sell it if something doesn't happen soon. At this point it's just a ten thousand dollar paperweight. As soon as I sell it I'm going to find a masseuse and get weekly massages and have weekly sushi til the money runs out, after a car purchase of course, a new van that is, or a 4runner but probably a new van, not a new one but a relatively old, $3000 one. Can't really do much with three grand but i can do something.

• That's about all I have for now. It's Wednesday, September 20 at 1:30am

• One More Thing. I cannot believe I actually got up the nerve to tell you about SWIM and ask you to role play. I meant no harm. And I should explain a little. First, it can be as simple  as what we've already done. Massages for you, but hopefully with a little more direction. Not that I needed more to accomplish the goal of massaging you, but that in role playing there's room for a little more, and you get to tease. By a little more i mean ornery directions, playing impatient or unsatisfied. And teasing can be anything. Things such as but not limited to imaginary rewards i never reach, like me getting to touch your breasts, me getting to see you naked, or just be in the room with you naked and you then blindfold me, truth or dare where only i have to do the truths or dares you never get a turn. I mean you can also give me things i want, or ask me what i want and give me that, or ask me what i don't want and give me that. There's very few preset rules. Hitting is fine but not in the face. In the groin but not in the balls. You can insult the man but not the penis. In private until we are well versed in each other. No overriding the safeword. The sky is the limit and there's tons of no nude things we can do. I figure i have about $100 a month in discretionary funds at my disposal if you wanted that. You said something to the effect of no or you're not sure about doing it because it would change the relationship or you didn't know which way you wanted the relationship to go. I'll echo in the sentiment that I dont know in which way i want the relationship to go, but that by taking a step in any direction we are not precluded from taking a step back and going a different way. As consenting adults we have that freedom. Audio only phone sessions may be up for negotiations, but one day soon, i'll be asking for that anyway.  I finished this on September 23rd at 10am.

• Addendum: One Last Thing… Think about your reaction to the role playiing both when i first said it and when you read about it here. The thought of being bossy, you don't lilke that, do you? But whenn you thought about the person playing the role of being bossed around, your pulse changed didn't it? Almost an inperceptible bump, thump or rate change, possibly your hands clenched, sweat a little? Youre railing againsat the thought right now because you think its antifeminist, but the truth of the matter is that it interests you.. You'll find that by having an outlet, a healthy controlled outlet by which you can play, to the extreme, the submissive role that it satiates the need and 'get it out of the way" allowing you to take better control over real life. Ibalways look for the unicorn, the domme. im a switch i find satisfaction in both roles. Ithink ou'll find your satisfaction in the submissive. It's a game of trust. And to begin with thats all we have. Oh you can try anything, D or S.But i'm telling you i know where youre going to find the most pleasure, rewards and satiety. Next time, I'll drop little clues, watch for your subtle responses. But I already know what they will be, and you don't, how spooky is that? And believe me the last thing id ever let happen, is for my little girl to get hurt in any way by any body for any reason. Ain't gunna happen.