In the Before Time

To recap: Here's an index to these pages of blabbering,

I'm getting better by the day, thanks. Sleeping 13 hours helps despite getting re sick by going out and getting cold and wet with Monica.  Thank you for your words. I guess that means that we both will be a little more mindful of our words. I have every intention of doing so and have been following through. Monica asks what I'm thinking a lot and I blow her off. I don't need to share 100% of whets on my mind or who or why I'm thinking what about. I'm still battling with how to fill those silences with smalll talk that's non invasive and I think that I've been doing that here as well. I came to the conclusion that my boredom was fucking with me and I was being too open lipped. Mea Culpa. I'm learning when and whrrre to keep my mouth shut and it's in most cases. I'm really good seeing patterns especially out the hightsight. Those are for me in most cases and sharing that I need to be more mindful of and do less.  Hence my increasing silence. Famously I must say it's not you, it's me. Lol. I never meant no harm. I just lost track of that. I'll learn. I'll improve. It's hopefully soon to be water under the bridge.  You did what you should have be calling that out. I may have said what I then thought was ok but Monica lied when she said please I'll not repeat anything. That hurt. She flat out lied. I'm sorry but I see a huge difference. I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself about that situation. No sense in muddying the waters. I did make a mistake and for that I again apologize. It sucks that it bent our relationship even if just a little and temporarily. I did that. I fucked up. I think you even warned me that she was that way. I know that Tom had said much to that effect on the subject. He warned me outright. I didn't heed his warnings. Shame on me. Damnit. I gotta learn to pay attention to Tom a little more because even though most of what he says is his own self love gibberish he's a good man and has some pertinent bits that I gotta filter in and whatch for.