I swear, Don't do this

Quit Chasing Mirages

Life is not about the destination. Fuck no! Life's about the journey. Fuck yea!

"Imagine chasing a mirage, believing it's a destination. It's an illusion – as most mirages are. Let’s say you've pinned your hopes on this 'destination.' But life happens. A job change, a surprise twist in a relationship, a sudden move – these aren't just possibilities, they are almost certainties. Life is full of them.

Now, consider this: While your goals are evolving with every twist and turn, you might feel you're never actually 'getting there.' But here's a thought – what if 'there' isn't where you need to be? The key isn't to abandon goals but to embrace the journey towards them.

Live in the now. Shift your perspective from reaching the goal to savoring the steps you take. Have aspirations, but don’t let the absence of achieving them define you. Goals are not finish lines but guideposts on the path of life – they’re there to steer you, not to confine you.

So, love yourself, live in the moment, and never stop striving. Enjoy the passage of life, and remember: it’s not about the mirage in the distance; it’s about the oasis you create along the way."

Quit Chasing Mirages Unabridged

Life is not about the destination. Fuck no! Life's about the journey. Fuck yea!

Hear me out. That 'destination' we often fixate on? It’s a mirage. And as you well know, mirages aren't reality.

Picture this: you're just out of school, brimming with vigor, ready to conquer the world. You've charted a course—a career path, a life goal. Then life intervenes. Your trusty car dissolves into a cloud of smoke, or family duties beckon, and suddenly you're taking a different path, one with lower pay and deferred dreams. It's the nature of life—unpredictable and ever-changing.

We all harbor goals and aspirations. It’s human nature. But as life pitches its curveballs, our plans and perspectives shift. Goals that once seemed vital may fall by the wayside, and our inner scorekeeper takes note, potentially tallying up a sense of loss. But it doesn't have to be this way.

Hindsight is famously 20/20. We can only connect the dots when we look back, not as we’re setting them down. But those 'bricks' of missed opportunities? They don't have to obstruct our path. They can be the very material we use to pave our new road forward.

Change is life's only constant. It hurls challenges and dilemmas our way, and how we respond—whether we dodge, weave, or confront them head-on—shapes our journey. Ignoring these 'bricks' can halt our progress. Conversely, addressing them can lay the foundation for a path uniquely our own.

The secret isn’t in abandoning goals; it's in adjusting our focus from the endpoint to the voyage itself. Consider a goal not as a final destination but as a direction, an 'aim' as defined by learned dictionaries. With each decision, face it boldly, make your choice with conviction, and trust in that choice. After all, no one is better equipped to navigate your life than you.

As you make these choices, don't let indecision create barriers. Tackle them, and in time, making decisions will become second nature. You'll find strength in your convictions, cutting through life's challenges with ease. Instead of carrying unsolved problems as burdens, you'll be solving them, building your future with each resolved issue.

With faith in ourselves, we unlock the ability to love who we are, to adapt, and to thrive. Avoidance isn't a strategy; it's a pitfall. Don't define yourself by what you're not or what you haven't achieved.

Think of goals as aspirations, as mirages. They guide you, inspire you, but they don't define you. If we measure our worth by these elusive visions, disappointment is inevitable. Instead, embrace life's journey. Love yourself, live in the moment, and aspire to grow. Work towards your goals, but never let the mirages determine your worth. That is the essence of a life well-lived.

Problems, love and embrace

Life is full of problems, hurdles, missteps and mishaps. Use them to your advantage!

Hear me out. In our last conversation, we unraveled the mirage of goal-chasing. Now, let's pivot to the power of perspective—how reframing memories can shape the life we lead.

Every day, I overhear people pondering 'what ifs,' longing for do-overs that never come. Dwelling on the past is a surefire way to dim the joy of your present life. Consider this: by dissecting every day for faults, you're training your brain to prioritize these missteps, etching them into your long-term memory. A lifetime of this well-intentioned self-critique can accumulate into a reservoir of regret.

However, there's a brighter path.

Remember, many of history's greatest discoveries were happy accidents. Just like in sales or dating, it's often the 'no's and the near-misses that guide us to our 'yes.' Embrace the unexpected. Cherish the lessons learned from what didn’t go according to plan, because that's where growth happens.

So, when reflecting, let the good take center stage. Replay the smiles, the laughter, the joy. Make a conscious choice to remember the positive. These moments of happiness are the ones to hold onto; they'll be the stars that light up your memory bank.

The next time you're asked about your day, share the good. Talk about the joke that made you chuckle, the kindness you witnessed, the little victories. This not only makes for delightful conversation but also cements the good in your psyche, paving the way for a fulfilled life.

Let's fill our memory banks with joys and triumphs, and in doing so, we won't just recall a great life; we'll be well on our way to living one.

Investing in your future happiness

Life is full of problems, hurdles, missteps and mishaps. Use them to your advantage!

Hear me out. Previously, we've uncovered the joy that comes from a memory bank brimming with positivity. But how does this shape the life ahead of us? It turns out we're not just walking through life; we're crafting it with our thoughts, backed by compelling scientific insights.

Our brains do more than passively receive the world; they actively construct it, influenced by our expectations and experiences. This isn't a simple reception of life's scenes; it's a creative process, an inward projection of outward experiences.

Now, imagine this: every second, an overwhelming two billion pieces of information bombard our senses. Yet, what does our brain actually present to our consciousness? A mere two thousand. To put this into perspective, think of it in terms of wealth. If your neighbor had a staggering $2 billion, what you're working with is the equivalent of a hundredth of a penny to their fortune. It's a minuscule fraction, so infinitesimal it's almost nonexistent.

This striking disparity illustrates how selective our perception truly is, how our brain, like a discerning billionaire, invests attention only in what aligns with our focus and desires. It's a powerful mechanism that can work in our favor. If we channel our thoughts towards the positive, towards what we aspire to, our brain will accentuate these elements in the grand tapestry of reality.

By holding onto the good, cherishing the successes, and savoring the joys, we're not just sifting through life for golden moments; we're placing a bet on what will define our reality. The mind's eye is keener than we realize, able to transform a penny of thought into a wealth of positivity.

So as you walk this journey, remember the power of your focus. It's the currency of your consciousness, the investment in your reality. Spend it wisely, and the returns will shape a life not just worth reflecting upon, but worth living every moment."

Investing v2

Life is full of problems, hurdles, missteps and mishaps. Use them to your advantage!

Hear me out. In our recent discussions, we've explored how a positive mindset can transform memories into a joyful reflection of life. But how does this shape our future? It turns out, we are the architects of our destiny, and science offers fascinating insights to support this.

Consider the theory of consciousness. It suggests that our brain does not just passively receive information; it actively constructs reality. Before we perceive what's happening around us, our brain has already set the stage, influenced by our past experiences, thoughts, and desires. This is not mere passive observation—it's an active creation.

Every second, our senses could process up to two billion bits of information, but that's too vast for anyone to handle. So, our brain filters this down to what it deems most relevant—about two thousand bits, based on what we focus on and what we expect to see. It's like having just a fraction of a penny compared to your neighbor's million dollars.

Now, apply this to your life. If you concentrate on positive goals and the good around you, your brain will prioritize those in your perception of reality. It's a powerful feedback loop: positivity breeds more positivity.

So, channel your energy into appreciating the good moments. By doing so, you're not just brightening your current outlook; you're training your brain to seek out and highlight the joys of life. This doesn't just create a happy memory bank—it sculpts a fulfilling reality, filled with positivity and contentment. And isn't that a reality we all wish to inhabit?

Problems, love and embrace

Life is full of problems, hurdles, missteps and mishaps. Use them to your advantage!

Hear me out. The mirage, we've touched on that. Now let's talk about creating the life you want to have by reframing the memories you retain. I hear people all the time on the bus, or at the grocery store, talking about what they did the day or week prior, mentioning the ways they would do better if given the chance. Sitting around, thinking about what didn't go the way you wanted, waiting for 'do-overs' to come your way, I don't think that's the best way to create a happy life. 

There's a much easier way. See, if you constantly deconstruct your day, and focus on the ways in which your actions could be improved, or streamlined to reach a more desirable outcome, faster or more directly, what you're doing is strengthening a frame of reference for your time, and ultimately for your life. By replaying your time and focusing on where you 'went wrong' you telling your brain that the important things are missteps and your brain will respond by transcoding all these short term 'missteps' into long term memories. If you do this on a regular basis, as well intended as it may be, i mean, we all want to improve, right, then you're setting yourself up for a life full of nothing but mistakes, and one day you'll reflect back over the year or the job or your life, and all you're going to have is a memory bank full of mistakes, mishaps and that's going to add up to what could feel like a failed existence and that will translate into more of the same. 

Instead, I proffer this as a solution. Sure, life is full of oops moments. The world's best and most useful discoveries were actually not being looked for but were a side effect of looking for something else, they were oops, now that looks funny moments. You find in sales, and dating and lots of things, its not about getting the yes, the sale, or the perfect date as much as it's about the no's and the imperfect matches because it's about numbers and you have to get used to and get through all those in order to find mrs right or land that big sale. Many times, you'll find that solutions are created more by knowing what not to do than by knowing what to do. You gotta start loving the things that aren't what you intended. I think that 'mistakes' are wonderful, they allow us to learn, to grow and that's how we win and succeed in life. 

So when looking back and reflecting, rehash all the positive, all the good stuff. Focus on the fun, the laughs, and the good in your day. The smile you received, not the cold shoulder you got, instead of looking at the things not gone as intended, look at the positive ways that things did go, reframe your point of view into the fun, the joy, the smile, reflect upon that. Because that day will come when you'll look back at moments gone by and your brain will have done nothing but transcode all of your little successes and smiles, the happy moments, and you'll see nothing but that and the resulting feeling and assessment of the past year, or month will be that of fun, and good, which in turn will create a smile, and reinforce the good things in life and assure that there will be more in front of you. You want more good and more joy, heck we can all use extra, no matter how much we are getting, 

So next time someone asks you how was your day, don't sigh and give them the rundown of how your boss got angry again, or the bad traffic jam on the way to work, instead, take a second and replay the smile you got, the bumpers sticker that made you laugh or how your good attitude made someone else smile, not only will it make for better conversation, it'll put a smile on the person you're talking to  but more so it'll reinforce the good things that are happening and set yourself up for a memory bank full of the good things, and make it so you not only had a great life but that you will continue to have a good life. And we all want that. 

Now, i've told you that by filling your memory with good things will make it so you reflect upon good things and equate to having a life worth smiling about, that's obvious. But how will that create a good life looking forward. Well, it so happens that we truly are masters of out own destiny. And there's science to back it up. We all know that children who are told they can do anything do better than the ones who are criticized for not doing right. Here's how that works.  Have you ever heard of how your brain relays information to you? it's quite fascinating, its about the theory of consciousness. And Science has proven that because of the way that your brain creates a conscious sense of what's around you, its actually creating your own reality and you're not simply a passive  viewer of this thing we call life. 

Here's what happens. In a sort of of inward first situation, your brain initially creates, or hallucinates, your reality and certainly that scene is based upon what has just happened, but its also influenced by your own thoughts and desires. Because in a fraction of a second before things 'happen' in your reality, you create the scene, then through your senses your brain gets the feedback of what's out there and it takes that information along with your desires, prior knowledge and preferences to 'reign in' what its created to shape your reality a little closer to what's likely to help you survive. Not by what's actually out there but shaping it more closely to what's apt to get you through the next moment. So by the time the scene is part of your on going experience, your conscious reality, , you had your prior experiences (which are biased in your favor) being  used  along with your preferences and desires to shape what you ultimately experienced as reality, a double whammy shaping what we used to consider as an objective reality. Turns out its more subjective than we realized.

 There's two billion pieces of information that assault our senses every second. Two billion things that your brain gets to sort through and use to create what your experience, again as an objective and complete reality. Thats alot, and it's too much it turns out. So what your brain does is use your thoughts and desires to help decide which two thousand things to tell you about. To help wrap your head around that, imagine your neighbor having 2 billion dollars and you only 2000. That means that you only have 1/100th of penny for every dollar your neighbor has. So it's pretty easy to see how, given the vast amounts of what constitutes the unfiltered reality, for your brain to be able to cherry pick out things you want to see out of things there are and create that reality for you. A massively subjective one that's more heavily what you want to see than what's actually there. So think about your goals, think about the things you want. Think about the good things. Enjoy life and live in the wonderfulness of it all instead of reliving and agonizing over the mistakes or things you wished you would have done differently  and critiquing your day. Focus on the good, because then your brain will respond by picking the good out and showing you that, helping to lead a life of happy, full of joy and positivity. And that's a good thing.

Problems, love and embrace

Life is full of problems, hurdles, missteps and mishaps. Use them to your advantage!

Hear me out. The mirage. and possibilities.

 Enjoy it while you can. Love yourself. Live in the moment. Never stop aspiring to be better, never stop working towards your goal, just don't define yourself by mirages that you never reach.

Quit trying to be like someone. Quit trying to get somewhere

Life is not about the destination. Fuck no! Life's about the journey. Fuck yea!

Hear me out. The destination, that's a mirage. and if you know anything about mirage's - they're not real. Check out this scenario. You've set up a destination. But something came up. You had to switch jobs. Your soon to be  wife, has a -ooopsii, and runs off with your best friend.  You have to get a new car. You move to be closer to your parents, setting your career path back by 5 years minimum. Anything can happen, right? And it usually does. I could go on for pages and pages on the possibilities. Heck even just the ones about me would take up quite a bit of space. So all the while your outlook, your future, you goals, your aspirations are changing too, after all, you want to have goals and you want to have your aspirations in life. It seems natural. But this whole time, you're not achieving your goal, despite moving the goalposts every so often to keep them reachable. The trick isn't to not have goals. The trick is to not set your sights on them set your sights on the fabulous jornoey of getting there. Live life now. Change your pespective from trying to reach that goal. everybody needs goals. Just dot worry about getting there. Enjoy what you have don't define yourself by what you dont have, which in this example is reachomg your goal. you'lll pass ,oregaols than youll reach. Think of goals more like aspirations, that mirage, sure, you're always heading in that direction, you can see it, you can visualize it, its right there, but if you define yourself by whether or not you can get there you'll always be disappointed and think your failing. You're not, you're just living life. Enjoy it while you can. Love yourself. Live in the moment. Never stop aspiring to be better, never stop working towards your goal, just don't define yourself by mirages that you never reach.

Quit trying to be like someone. Quit trying to get somewhere

Life is not about the destination. Fuck no! Life's about the journey. Fuck yea!

Hear me out. The destination, that's a mirage. And if you know anything about mirage's - they're not real. Check out this scenario, and allow me to explain. You're fresh out of school. You're full of energy. Ready to tackle life head on. You've set up a destination, a career path, a life goal. But something comes up. In a puff of acrid smoke, your car gives out and you have to get a new one. Or your parents need help, and you move back to your hometown, causing you to switch to a lower paying job. I mean, anything can happen, right? And it usually does.

  We all have goals and aspirations in life. It seems natural. But, life's constantly throwing curveballs at you, and while you're busy dodging them your outlook, your future, your goals, your aspirations are changing along with you. We adapt and overcome, that's what we do. But everytime you change or move your goal to align with your new future, those missed ones are piling up and your subconscious is secretly keeping tabs. And that can have negative consequences. But you don't have to let that happen.

Face it, we all see better in hindsight. You can't see where you're going to end up based upon the actions you plan on taking, only where you aspire be.  As the saying goes, "Hindsight is 20/20." It's only by looking backwards through the memories that you get to connect the dots and see the path you've taken. Look, we all know that the only thing that's guaranteed in life is change. It's constantly throwing curveballs, or bricks, causing us to change our direction. But instead of letting those discarded goals pile up, you can use them to pave your own way. 

Cambridge and Oxford dictionaries defines goal using the term "an aim." And that's all goals are: a direction or an aim.  Make certain that when you have a decision, that you make the best choice taht you can and trust in that process. It becomes easier with practice and then you can start to relax and start enjoying the journey, and enjoying yourself. The problems and choices they'll keep rolling in and you'll keep making solid decisions, and instead of carrying that unsolved problem around like dead weight, you'll be laying it down, paiong your own way to a better future. It won't be long before you look back at where you were a year ago and you smile. Afterall you've been enjoying yourself, having a good time, and got all those good memories, but most of all you trust the person making them, and that's having faith. It's only then then thatand love who we are.

The trick here isn't to not have goals. The trick is to shift your perspective from the goals to the journey. Don't define yourself by what you aren't or haven't achieved. You'll pass more goals than you'll reach.

Think of goals more like aspirations, or like a mirage. Sure, you're always heading in that direction, you can see it, you want to get there, by all means its right there just out of reach. But if you define yourself by getting there, you'll always be disappointed and think you're failing in life. You're not. You're just living life and enjoying the journey. That's what its all about. Love yourself. Live in the moment. Never stop aspiring to better yourself. Never stop working towards that goal.  Just don't define yourself by mirages that you never reach.

Quit trying to be like someone. Quit trying to get somewhere

Life is not about the destination. Fuck no! Life's about the journey. Fuck yea!

Hear me out. The destination, that's a mirage. And if you know anything about mirage's - they're not real. Check out this scenario, and allow me to explain. You're fresh out of school. You're full of energy. Ready to tackle life head on. You've set up a destination, a career path, a life goal. But something comes up. In a puff of acrid smoke, your car gives out and you have to get a new one. Or your parents need help, and you move back to your hometown, causing you to switch to a lower paying job. I mean, anything can happen, right? And it usually does.

  We all have goals and aspirations in life. It seems natural. But, life's constantly throwing curveballs at you, and while you're busy dodging them your outlook, your future, your goals, your aspirations are changing along with you. We adapt and overcome, that's what we do. Meanwhile, those missed goals are piling up everytime you change or move your goal to align with your new future, and your subconscious is secretly keeping tabs. And that can have negative consequences. But you don't have to let that happen. Keep reading.

Face it, we all see better in hindsight. You can't see where you're going to end up based upon the actions you plan on taking, only where you aspire be.  As the saying goes, "Hindsight is 20/20." It's only by looking backwards through the memories that you get to connect the dots and see the path you've taken.

But we don't have to let those bricks get ion our way.Those bricks cause us to change. CHange our direction, change our attitude. or change our goals.

Look, we all know that the only thing that's guaranteed in life is change. Life keeps throwing curve balls , or lobbing bricks your way: challenges to overcome, dilemmas to solve, holes that we need to dig ourselves out of. If we choose to wait them out or run away from the challenges,we'll find that those bricks of unresolved issues, unsolved dilimmas, then end up impeding  any forward movement that we may desire. But instead of letting those discarded goals get in our way, there's asmiple trick to avoiding this issue altogeter.

The trick here isn't to not have goals. The trick is to shift your perspective from the goals to the journey. It's that simple. LOok hear, Cambridge and Oxford dictionaries defines goal using the term "an aim." And that's all goals are: a direction or an aim.  Make certain that when you have a decision, don't put it off, but tackle it head on and make the best decision possible. And most of all,  trust in that decision you made NO one knows your situation, has been in your shoes or has your best interests at heart. EVerybody is too busy dealing with their own curve balls to take notice.

So start making those decision , don't let them be road blocks..Soon enough decision will get easier. And with practice you'll be able to relax, taking comfort and pride in putting on your adult clothes and cutting through all those issues that come up like they're warm butter with a hot knife. The problems and choices they'll keep rolling in and you'll keep making solid decisions. It'll become routine. So, instead of carrying each unsolved or unresolved problem around, like dead weight, you'll be constructively solving the issues and those bricks can be used to pave the way in front of yo instead t holding you back.. You'll be paving your own way to a better future. It won't be long before you look back and smile. Afterall you've been having a good time, and got all those good memories, but most of all you trust the person making them, and that's having faith. Once we begin having faithnin ourselves, that we open up and truly begiin to love who we are.

LIfe's forever going to be causing us to adapt and change. Avoidance alone isn't the way out of life's quagmire., because then they pile up. Don't define yourself by what you aren't or haven't achieved..

Think of goals more like aspirations, or like a mirage. Sure, you're always heading in that direction, you can see it, you want to get there, by all means its right there just out of reach. But if you define yourself by getting there, you'll always be disappointed and think you're failing in life. You're not. You're just living life and enjoying the journey. That's what its all about. Love yourself. Live in the moment. Never stop aspiring to better yourself. Never stop working towards that goal.  Just don't define yourself by mirages that you never reach.