What I See

Hear me out.  I don't know what youve been able to catch in the past and if you've read this or in am repeating myself too fucking bad. Tough it out, don't be such a wimp :P

I see this wonderful lady. She's doesn't realize her own power. She may outwardly tell people and me that she knows how beautiful she is but that's a lie she's hoping to believe. She wants to walk in those shoes but all she knows is that's what she got to say. Her soul is questioning her and causing uncertainty. I see with clarity that she's beautiful strong and capable to teaching me more than i can teach her. I am already struggling to keep pace and she's not even broken a sweat. And you know what? I need that shit more than ever. I need someone to challenge me and fucking beat me at a few things so that i am forced to play catch up. I want us to push each other. to poke. to prod. to not accept laziness and complacency as an excuse. I won't put up with either one of us bringing the other person down to their level like i see Ian doing to you. He wants to be on the same level as you. So he drags you down to his. 

Woman, Soul-lee-uh, cutie, sweetie, i want to bring you up and over my level so that you can pull me up to yours. Through my growth that you help create i want to be able to return it with more of my own. we can act in harmonious but complimentary behaviour to push each other to greatness. I'm going to stop accepting mediocrity. I know you are worth everything i've got and i know i don't know how much i have but i have faith in how much  you can show me by elevating me and standing behind me in the same way that i can elevate you by my strength and my steadiness help push you to your greatness in life. does that make sense?

 Here, hold my beer, i've got to do this. i've always been too afraid to walk up to the prettiest girl and tell her how pretty she is. well im am doing that now. You're the prettiest girl around, and smartest. and you don't scare me. You encourage me.

I can't say enough how i am struck by how gorgeous you are, not just in that smooshy roundness of your posterior, but in your mind, in your resilience in you ducking ability to stick to being the good guy while you get shat on. there i said it. Fuck it. That's how i feel. you're literally withstanding a shitstorm of crap being flung at you and still giving a 12 on a ten point scale of doing the right thing. That's godlike in how awesome that is. i need you to lead the way so i can learn that. I promise that where i have my strengths, i'll keep leading the way and demonstrate a path for you to be able to do the same. We don't have to go hand in hand. I have me. you have you. we are on the same ship. what kind of ship? did i lose you?our relationship. i trust you. and i'm asking for you to help me navigate that ship by having complete faith in it. what's it run on? trust. honesty. vulnerability protected by the other person. i'm losing my ability to keep on track in this conversation. Bestie. Lets let go together. i promise to accept only greatness from you and call you out on your bullshit if you do the same.

Just to summarize. you're great. you're my equal in many way and better than me in just as many. And I've got one up on you in what remains. Those partials add up to one super awesome great team. 

you're beautiful. your smile is awesome. your strength is admirable. you are a force to be fucking behold. you make me want to better myself. I need you to keep doing what you are doing now. your insides your soul, your soul-leah inspires me. i hope that i can do the same for you.

thanks for reading. there's other like this but maybe not as straight forward much more beating around the bush in the 404s. please acknowledge that you read this.

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Let's work it out. I really don't want to lose you as a friend, or as a reader. 

Stay positive,

Kris