Living with a spouse who is a pathological liar can be a difficult and challenging experience. Pathological lying is a behavior disorder that involves lying compulsively and habitually, even when there is no apparent reason to do so. A pathological liar may lie to gain attention, boost their self-esteem, avoid punishment or to manipulate others. If your spouse is a pathological liar, it can be very hard to trust them, and this can take a toll on your relationship. Here are some techniques that can help you deal with a pathological liar as a spouse.
1. Acknowledge the problem
The first step to dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse is to acknowledge that there is a problem. This means accepting that your spouse has a problem with lying, and it's not something that you can just ignore. It is important to understand that pathological lying is a disorder, and it is not something that your spouse can easily control.
2. Communicate openly
Communication is key when it comes to dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse. You need to be able to have open and honest communication with your partner. This means being able to talk about the lying behavior in a non-judgmental and understanding way. Let your partner know how their lying behavior affects you and your relationship, and express your concerns in a calm and compassionate manner.
3. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is an essential part of dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse. It is important to establish clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship. This can include things like being honest about finances, being truthful about your feelings, and not lying to cover up mistakes or wrongdoings.
4. Seek professional help
Dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse can be overwhelming, and it may be beneficial to seek professional help. This can include individual therapy for your spouse or couples therapy for both of you. A therapist can help your spouse identify and address the underlying causes of their lying behavior and provide you with tools to manage the situation.
5. Practice self-care
Living with a pathological liar as a spouse can be emotionally draining, and it is important to take care of yourself. This means taking time to do things that make you happy, engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or journaling, and surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and family.
6. Don't enable the behavior
Enabling the behavior of a pathological liar can make the situation worse. It is important not to cover up for your spouse or make excuses for their lying behavior. This can only make it harder for your spouse to acknowledge the problem and seek help.
7. Be patient
Dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse can be a long and difficult process, and it requires patience and understanding. It is important to remember that change does not happen overnight, and your spouse may need time to address the underlying issues that contribute to their lying behavior.
In conclusion, dealing with a pathological liar as a spouse can be a challenging and stressful experience. It is important to remember that pathological lying is a disorder and your spouse may need professional help to address the underlying issues that contribute to their lying behavior. Communication, setting boundaries, seeking professional help, practicing self-care, not enabling the behavior, and being patient are some techniques that can help you deal with a pathological liar as a spouse. Remember that change is possible, and with the right support and resources, you and your spouse can work towards building a healthier and more honest relationship.
Sources:
Ford, C. V. (1998). Lies! Lies!! Lies!!! The Psychology of Deceit. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.
Hartwig, M., Granhag, P. A., & Strömwall, L. A. (2006). Guilty, but who did it? Eyewitnesses' ability to discriminate between cooffenders and accomplices. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 20(6), 811-821.
Serota, K. B., Levine, T. R., & Boster, F. J. (2010). The nature of deception in close relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(8), 1073-1091.
Vrij, A. (2008). Detecting lies and deceit: Pitfalls and opportunities (2nd ed.). Chichester, UK: John Wiley & Sons.
Wiederhold, B. K. (2014). Virtual reality therapy for anxiety disorders: Advances in evaluation and treatment. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.